Like everyone else — even those with buyer’s remorse — I’m doing what I can to cope with the ascendant Neocon New World Order Conspiracy. It’s hard, since we here in the Reptilian Illuminati New World Order Conspiracy have been plotting for centuries to take control of the planet, and, like everyone else, we’re not sure what’s next. The rules of the game have changed.
As we survey the new lay of the land and assess our options, we’re looking for ways to work across the aisle, as it were, to build solidarity, and to find ways to align our goals with those of our new rulers.
Last night I was at the pub with some co-conspirators, and one of my companions made note of an old piano in the corner. One of us went over to it to take a closer look, and remarked that it was likely an antique. I was uncertain myself, but we decided to stage an experiment to test the age of the instrument. The keys were badly damaged and chipped in several places, and I broke off a tiny sliver. We decided to hold it against the candle on the table to see how it burned, as a way to determine whether it was genuine ivory or plastic. If it caught fire we could be sure it was made from petrochemicals; were it to smell like burning Jews, we could be sure it was made from ivory.
Sure enough, the piano was a genuine antique, which prompted some thinking on my part about what we might have to offer the Neocons.
And sure enough, it occurred to me that the Neocons and their apocalyptic goals may be aided by our lobbying efforts among the ultra-orthodox in Israel to obtain kosher certification for the CRISPR-Cas9 gene editing technology. Our operatives in Texas have been having great difficulty breeding the flawless red heifer required to reinstate the Cohanim and rebuild the Temple on the site of the Al Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem. With any luck, kosher certification for CRISPR-Cas9 might allow us to fast track this process, which may be of interest to the Neocons.
Anyway, it’s just a preliminary thought. We don’t have any conspiracy in place yet, but, as the saying goes, with disaster comes opportunity. We need to think creatively about our prospects for the future control of the planet, and this may be just such an opportunity for us to stay in the loop.
But, of course, we’ll just have to see what the future holds now.