Feeding Chaos and the Art of Control

As we commemorate the genocide that originally made America great, we are apt to turn our Reptilian hearts and minds to all the great things we can expect from the future.

The move by the FCC to repeal “net neutrality,” for example, will remove “common carrier” protections from internet service providers.  One consequence will be to enhance the efficiency of our operation by exposing risk-averse telecommunications corporations to content liability.  We’ve determined that this scenario will provide a novel way to further restrict the terms of popular discourse (such as it exists at all any more) by incentivising a new top-down censorship regime among vertically-integrated and heavily consolidated media outlets, ultimately releasing millions in operating funds associated with the small army of informants and covert censors we now employ.

Since President Trump was killed by Hurricane Maria while assessing damage at his Caribbean estate, I’m pleased to announce rapid progress within our conspiracy to re-establish control in the wake of this past year of erratic rulership.  Our initial fears about a Trump Presidency unraveling centuries of careful planning and covert manipulation have proved not only unfounded, but have also provided unique opportunities to increase the subtlety of our power and influence.

After a brief period wherein the late President Trump’s Twitter account was taken offline, we now have the presidential Tweeting algorithm running at full speed, having fully calibrated initial output to psychological models and connected to the internet.  News reports of Mr. Trump being inaccessible to donors have subsided as well, now that a team of impersonators have been trained on the speech patterns and idiosyncratic obsessions of the presidential Tweeting algorithm.

Now that we’ve managed to take control of the Office of President while preserving Trump’s personality as a distraction, we’ve furthermore managed to cover our tracks, with Trump’s former campaign advisor Paul Manafort taking the fall for “conspiracy against the United States.”  Things are moving along quite nicely.  Expect great things from us.

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Happy New Year

As the Sun emerges from the Sign of Ophiuchus, having passed from Libra, and now into Capricorn, let us take pause to give thanks this Solstice Day for all that we in the Reptilian Illuminati New World Order Conspiracy have been able to salvage of our plans, despite the resurgent ascendancy of the Neocon New World Order Conspiracy this past November.

Our ancient traditions affirm the wisdom and foresight of our elders, who implemented the 28-day, 13-month calendar that governs our rituals and celebrations, long before the precession of the Equinox moved Ophiuchus into the ecliptic.  Precession was a central element to the Mithraic Mysteries, and our enemies who regard our exoteric 364-day calendar without the annual Winter Solstice New Year Leap Day to align the demands of rational social control with the agricultural calendar take regard of the incorrect signs in the Heavens, despite access to online Gregorian-Discordian conversion tables.

As the Trump team transitions from campaign to executive administration, the control we of late attained over the campaign through post-hypnotic suggestion in the mass media has naturally diminished.  At the same time, our charter from the Knights of Malta has provided us here at the Applied Chaos Dynamics Control Association with unprecedented influence over staffing decisions in the Trump transition team.  Operatives from the Jesuits and Catholics figure currently prominently in the transition team, and, given all indications from above, we are beginning to prepare for the possibility of a Trump impeachment from the Tea Party House, and an increased need for more precise control over the subconscious impulses of Mike Pence within the next eight years.

We’re currently evaluating a few impeachment options for Mr. Trump, ranging from a decision to make drone war with China without Congressional declaration (staged to avoid the public discomfort of sending troops into battle, in violation of Article I of the US Constitution), to more worldly political considerations.  For example, if our existing control over Donald Trump’s psyche can be properly leveraged, we may be able to engineer a situation in which he royally offends the Saudis, who then lead an initiative among OPEC nations to cease the Nixon-era practice of pricing oil exclusively in dollars (subsequent to Nixon ending the the gold standard).

OPEC opting to price oil in Euros, as part of an anti-Brexit confidence bid to back European unity, would effectively undermine American dollar hegemony, as well as the dollar’s global reserve currency status, tanking the US economy overnight, while ingratiating our Conspiracy to our allies in Vatican City, who have been under pressure from Deuchebank to comply with international money laundering regulations there since late 2013.  As impeachment must originate in the House, our control over the primitive impulses of the Tea Party faction should be adequate to initiate impeachment proceedings without too much difficulty.

Just to reiterate: our charter from the Knights of Malta does not allow us to directly compete with the CIA in terms of sowing chaos and disorder; our task is primarily to aestheticize civilization’s collapse.  That said, all options are on the table.  Life sometimes imitates art, first as tragedy, then as farce, as it were.  We control legions of Kek worshipers.  We never forgive.  We never forget.  Happy New Year Solstice Day.